Garden Tease

[She steps out tentatively, shakily onto stage, dressed in layer upon layer of T-shirts]

Um hello. Hello everybody.

[Deep breath]

Bonsoir Monsieur et Madame

[Mama Rose backstage: Sing out, geez Louise!]

My, my name is Ms Garden Tees
What’s yours?
Mister, Mister Conductor, if you please

I’m stripping off memories
One T-shirt at a time
Each one a story
a fragrant moment of mine

[Takes off first T-shirt and tosses it into the audience]

Oh, I have tantalizing tales
tucked away in my boudoir
Can I tempt you with a few lines?
Some old and then some new rhymes
Will your spirits climb
If I bare my soul in verse?

[She continues to take off each T-shirt, picking up the pace now, some of the tees dropping to her feet in a pile, some she throws into waiting hands]

After all, these tees are both a curse
And a shrine
An ode to the divine
those golden garden, city farmin’ days
If I slip off my past, will I lose my cachet?
Is it too risqué if I discard these tees today?
Or will it lighten the load on each trembling shoulder
Creating more space to fashion something bolder.

Oh I hope this entertains you
Hope this makes you smile
I’m trying to learn a few tricks
Some poetry and paint tricks
So I’m much more versatile

Let me entertain you
And we’ll have a real good time, yes, sir
We’ll have
A real good time

[With a final seductive nod, she kicks the remaining T-shirts into the audience and exits with flourish]

Based on Garden Tees. A burlesque poem, inspired by Let Me Entertain you, by Sandra Church for the 1962 movie Gypsy.

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